It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
‘Til it was a battle cry
I’ll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything’s changing
Doesn’t mean it’s never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
I’ll come back when it’s over
No need to say goodbye
I’ll come back when it’s over
No need to say goodbye
Now we’re back to the beginning
It’s just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can’t feel it too
Doesn’t mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
‘Til they’re before your eyes
I’ll cone back
When they call me
No need to say goodbye
I’ll come back
When they call me
No need to say goodbye

 

To y'all, my dearest friends.

亲爱的玫和她的水瓶男在一起的时候感觉好甜蜜。当我搂了下玫，说声新年快乐，看她在走廊里走远的时候，不争气地又流眼泪。因为在这个时刻他们的甜蜜，也因为，有可能，我将会离开我的亲爱的朋友。

晚上打给已经到西藏的老麦。一开始都好好的，听到我疲惫的声音，感应一样说我是不是要离开。于是骂骂咧咧说我叛国，甚至都不愿意再跟我讲话。

回家收邮件，老Kevin说，beware of the Japanese obedient housewife syndrome, eh?关照的语气突然让我觉得好委屈。

信誓旦旦地说，ready for the change, ready for the challenge. 但是，放不下的，是你们，我亲爱的朋友们。

Since when everything becomes so complicated?

在5个小时连续讲课连续站立之后，一沾到椅子，手上还捧着一个啃了一口的苹果，就已经闭上眼睛睡过去——恨不得就这样昏死过去。但是，在半昏半醒间，又站了起来，继续站继续讲剩下的5个小时。

真的觉得，什么都没意思。

讨厌这复杂的一切，讨厌常常心痛，常常软弱，常常哭。

讨厌让我用构造不复杂的脑子去想那些复杂的问题——该在哪里该做什么该考虑什么，现在，以后，一切。

讨厌在累到极致时网络断得跟鬼一样。

 

那个一直轻松乐天的人，能忍受这个极度悲观的我么。

2008的泪水，超过以往任何一年甚至几年。我这是怎么了。

 

 

 

在一片喧闹、感慨、热烈中间，第一次脑海中清晰出现冷冰冰的“suicide”，纪念下。突然想给某枚很苦的萝莉一个拥抱。